Friday, 20 September 2013

Heartbreak Hotel

As someone who has suffered their fair share of horrible heartbreak, I feel that I can speak candidly on this subject.. I am most saddened by the fact that heartbreak is a really personal thing and should be experienced and felt privately (unless like me you talk to folk a lot about how you might die without cookies and box sets to get you through) but in this day and age of internet blab-your-life-all-over-social-media you just can't wallow in your heartbreak anymore. You see with your "relationship status" changing on facebook you get that horrible influx of comments and private messages, as well as texts and phone calls from those that have seen it, that make it hurt that little bit harder. The most horrible is when your now ex changes it the same day or very soon after, making you feel like what you had meant about as much as porn clip and a hand full of tissue on a lonely night in, or a bunk up with some drunken sweetheart you stumbled across at 2am on a Friday night. My point is in this age old share and share alike (with your mates, their mates and that crazy man from Argentina that friend requested you at 3am last Tuesday and you randomly accepted) that has become the norm in recent times has meant that NOTHING can be private anymore. You can't even have a crap day without the world knowing and making you feel even crapper. Don't get me wrong it's nice knowing that your ex can see when you're happy and you've dusted yourself off and moved on, but they also know when you have drank a bottle of wine every night for a week, dodged the gym and lived off nothing but crackers in some mental way of dealing with your heart feeling like someone has ripped it out and puked on it. Well that is unless you do the "dignified silence" thing or delete them altogether at the same time as you chucked out everything that reminds them of you, I guess it depends what Heartbreak Habit you have.

My Heartbreak Habit goes like this...

1. Box up the memories in a Chanel box/shoe box/rubbish bin. (Dependent on what type of ex)

2. Delete his number (but write it down so you can arrange to collect your stuff and hide the scrap of paper)... I lost the paper when I moved home...

3. I'm too nice to delete off Facebook so I hide them from my new feed til I am ok with stuff.

4. Only text/Facebook stalk/call when you have drank one too many Pornstar Martinis... I am far too sensible for these shenanigans when sober

I think what I am saying is that there a few things we can keep private these days, and I think some things should be respected and kept private, and for me break ups are one of those things. So the next time you are planning a smug facebook status why not consider that person you once loved more than those Loubs you got in the sale and write about what you just ate, X Factor, iOS updates or the bowel movements of your newborn child/puppy that you usually fill my news feed with. I swear it'll make you feel better being the better person... especially cos your ex will just act like a douche and write something tosser-esque that all your mutual friends will inwardly, or vocally mock them for. And you will look like the cooler one... 

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